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The Hate Yourself Change

by Neva Dinova

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irocaboca
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irocaboca catchy, fun, sometimes even shocking, this album is just great to listen to. i'd say it lifts my mood, but certain songs hit so close to home. it's not all silly, don't let lyrics like "scratching my nuts right at god" fool you. this album can be heartbreaking when it needs to be.
jonser
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jonser as soon as Jake bellows starts to sing on the first track of this album ,neva dinova takes u to another place.sometim3s sad,sometimes weird ,more sad ,more weird but all executed cleanly by some extremely talented musicians.to say neva dinova is great will always be a understatement.they are one of the greatest bands I've ever heard .each song resonates inside u till ur filled with this feeling like u just gained something special.a friend .neva dinova sits with u. like a friend.thanku. Favorite track: I've Got a Feeling.
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1.
He wears his hat o’er his eyes And he’s trying to keep it on. Says he’s sick of living his life And he’s tired of being alone. But that ain’t no one’s job but mine Got a new sleeping bag Got no place to sleep it at. Left my dog on the ranch, But I’m trying to get her back. My job’s simple I just got to see The stars for what they are. And they don’t grant wishes And they don’t guide me, but they try, They try, now I’m going to try. Straighten up your life, straighten up your life. Saw the sign of the times Out on the freeway. It said, “hey man, there goes the ‘hood.” I said, “that’s fine, I was done trying to be good.” The next time I come by, I want to see the sky split, Want to know what’s happening. Trade this hard heart for tears, Take a look in the mirror, Next time I’ll try Next time I’ll try.
2.
Ahh 03:38
I can’t sleep enough I can still taste what I drank and no one’s keeping up what’s that mean? i’ve been trying to capture the piece of art you’re after it seems like it’s extinct i’ll check it when I hit the peak. and it’s the words you’re after watch their meanings shatter the words break in my ear I love you but it doesn’t matter. I wasn’t feeling my best and I put my friends to the test and I wasn’t waking up well, you couldn’t tell if I was gone I can’t wait, I won’t change ‘cause i’m living on mars. it don’t hurt, when it rains it just shorts out my guitars. do the best you can to keep this in your hat or whisper in my ear I love you but it doesn’t matter.
3.
Well the sickness hasn’t left Hasn’t left me, don’t know why, And if my health does not come back I’m gonna die. Here comes my ride, It’s not that fast and I know why, ‘cause my friends don’t drive the Benz they drive them yellow Datsuns. Hey lady, please don’t Make me the fool. I’m wearing sleeves on my heart for you. Now I ain’t gonna live And I think that doc knows why I got morphine in my sleeves got some stars in my eyes. I got morphine in my sleeves, got Some stars in my eyes. He lady, please don’t Make me the fool, ‘cause Jerry’s Kids been betting on this information they got from you. Now I ain’t gonna live, But I’ll race you to the sun, I can’t lose I’m gonna win I’m in My yellow Datsun.
4.
The Champion 04:09
the champion he wrapped up the fight with a strong uppercut from his right hand might has overcome right again, he cried. i’m much too tired to explain how I let my life get away older now every day, I tried. it’s not that i’m scared, it’s just that I care what you’re going through. breaking the rules one by one trying to convince all my friends this will never happen again and i’ll try to make amends.
5.
when I go will my mother know will my brother know I tried will the government send them my old pens and the letters I tried to write? will my dad, as he cries all night will he still believe we’re right as i’m drinking blood from a silver cup with these men who chose to die? when I go will my mother cry will my brother want to die as i’m drinking up and amber stout with this god i’ve heard so much about? when I go will you be ashamed will you still recall my name with pain? can’t wait to see you hang.
6.
Leaving Arizona for the things that I did My face all calloused emotions hid I’ve run out of luck I will not fucking try. She keeps me close to her heart in a locket I keep her close to my cock on a picture in my pocket And I cannot stop no matter how I try. Don’t make a sound, don’t make a face, I can’t slow down, I’m headed straight into A burning town, on the interstate, I’m going down. The kids are gonna love what you’ve done. I cannot close my eyes, I’m driving. Half his journey is behind him gonna Keep my eyes pinned on these blinding stars.
7.
She can’t change she don’t want to It’s not like when we were young, She’d change for anyone. I can’t change I don’t want to change It’s not like when I was young I’d change for anyone. We don’t want to face it. Broke a promise I had saved up for you It’s not like when we were young I won’t tell anyone. She don’t like me ‘cause I can’t speak Not like when I was young I spoke for everyone. If it’s too hard, be honest.
8.
You think that I haven’t changed, I admit, I must look the same, But I have been pushing my luck, I’m in trouble. You try to make up a line, But you can’t think of one, But I have been jumping the gun, I’m in trouble. Divide, Something’s under my skin, Divide and conquer, something’s under my skin. The blackest heart you’ve ever seen, The blackest heart you’ve ever seen. If I go now, you’d need a machine to take me, The blackest heart you’ve ever seen, it’s a dream. It’s a dream.
9.
Cold Calls 03:24
you tried to call, you tried to fall down too. the news was right, there’s a fire inside you. unclean deserter, I dream of murder, and you. the train rolls past, wish I was on it too. the lights go black, i’m blind but honest, you should have wanted the truth. house to house festering, with one burning question. was it you? town on the hill, and i’ve got sixty five shells, i’m back to track you down and kill you myself. sixty five shells, and nothing else to sell, someone betrayed me, now i’m out making cold calls designed to kill.
10.
On/Off 04:11
it’s on it’s off the microphone feels so soft no more kisses from the one I love i’m out of shape from running away too much seen your beauty but I can’t touch.
11.
I can’t stand this anymore. When you scratch away the layers There’s nothing there and I don’t give a fuck. You can’t hurt me anymore. Chop off my arm, there’s a hole in my heart And I don’t give a fuck. Everyone I love, everyone I trust, What’s gonna happen to all of us. Seems like I’ve done something wrong Well let that punishment come, hide the sun, I don’t give a fuck. Scratching my nuts right at god. On second thought there’s no one there And I don’t give a fuck. Chop off my arm, there’s a hole in my heart And I don’t give a fuck. What is this world without pain? It ain’t a goddam thing, just a rock floating Through the universe. The world’s a shitty place And I can’t wait to die.

credits

released February 8, 2005

recorded and mixed by AJ Mogis at Presto! in Lincoln, NE
mastering by Doug Van Sloun at Studio B in Omaha, NE
art by Shawn Ballarin
design by Jadon Ulrich

Roger Lewis plays drums
Tim Haes plays guitar
Mike Kratky plays guitar and some keyboards
Heath Koontz plays bass
Jake Bellows plays guitar and sings

additional musicians
A.J. Mogis
Doug Wray
Nick White
and I lost the damn list of choir guests from Duffy’s but they were great.

Man, we just really appreciate everyone who cares about our band and if you want, Heath will buy you a beer. First I want to give a big shout out to all my peeps up in heaven, wassup Jesus. Chillin’. rhymes so bad you don’t want to pardon it, smells in my hat like someone put a fart in it. Thanks.

All songs by Neva Dinova
©2005 Grab Your Fat Music / I’m Not Givin’ Up, Smedley! Music (BMI)

2013 Saddle Creek

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Neva Dinova Omaha, Nebraska

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